How to Build Motivation When You Feel Stuck

The Truth About Motivation: Why It Ebbs, How to Build It, and What Actually Keeps You Going

Most people believe that motivation is something we either wake up with - or we don’t. But motivation is inconsistent by nature. It ebbs and flows, often disappearing when we need it most.

You’re not alone if you’ve said, "If I just had more motivation, I could finally get started." The good news is, motivation isn’t a mystery - it’s something you can build.

This post explores how to cultivate motivation through habit formation, mindset shifts, self-discipline, and emotional support systems.

The Myth of Motivation

Motivation is often seen as the spark that ignites action. But as Dr. Timothy Pychyl explains, motivation is often the result of action - not the cause. Small steps create momentum, and momentum builds belief.

As James Clear notes, "Motivation often comes after starting, not before. Action produces progress. Progress produces motivation."

Discipline, especially when practiced with self-compassion, is the real driver. It’s the structure that supports goals when motivation fades.

Reflection Prompt: Think of a time when you weren’t motivated to start—but once you did, it got easier. What helped you begin?

What Is a Habit Loop?

According to Charles Duhigg's work on habit loops, habits form through three stages:

• Cue – Trigger for a behavior

• Routine – The behavior itself

• Reward – The benefit that reinforces it

The goal is to replace unhelpful loops (like doomscrolling) with habits that align with your values.

Exercise: Write down a recurring habit. Identify its cue, routine, and reward. Brainstorm a healthier replacement routine.

How to Build Motivation (Not Wait for It)

Create systems that support your goals. Start with micro-habits that are so small they feel effortless. Each successful habit gives your brain a dopamine boost, reinforcing identity shifts like, "I am someone who shows up."

Examples:

• Stretch for 5 minutes

• Write one sentence

• Drink one glass of water

Exercise: Choose one 5-minute habit. Track how you feel before and after each day this week.

Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation

Intrinsic motivation comes from within - doing something because it aligns with your values. Extrinsic motivation is based on external rewards or validation. Research from Self-Determination Theory shows intrinsic motivation is more sustainable.

Align your goals with internal values (like health, creativity, connection) for deeper and more lasting change.

The Influence of the People Around You

According to Harvard research, you're 68% more likely to adopt new behaviors if those around you are doing them, too. Surrounding yourself with growth-minded people helps shape habits and self-perception.

Growth-minded people: are individuals who believe that abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort, learning, and perseverance. They embrace challenges, view setbacks as opportunities to improve, and are more likely to encourage and support personal growth in others. Surrounding yourself with growth-minded people creates an environment that inspires motivation, resilience, and continuous self-improvement.

Reflection Prompt: Who in your life reflects the version of yourself you’re becoming?

When Motivation Fades (Because It Will)

Motivation will dip. That’s normal. The key is to rely on your systems and values-based consistency, not feelings.

Values-based consistency means aligning your actions with your core values, even when motivation is low or obstacles arise. Instead of relying on fleeting feelings, you make choices rooted in what truly matters to you - like health, integrity, or connection - which creates a steady sense of direction and purpose. This type of consistency builds trust in yourself and leads to more meaningful, lasting progress.

Tools:

• Use a habit tracker to measure progress

• Create a reset ritual (a playlist, journal, or text to a friend)

• Keep a self-compassion statement on hand

Consistency beats intensity. Progress isn’t about being perfect - it’s about coming back.

The Neuroscience of Motivation

Motivation involves a dynamic interplay between brain chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine. These neurotransmitters regulate reward, mood, and focus.

The prefrontal cortex, responsible for decision-making and planning, collaborates with the brain’s reward centers. When you achieve a small goal, the dopamine released strengthens the motivation loop by reinforcing positive behavior.

This is why routines and success tracking work - they keep your brain engaged and reinforce forward motion.

Motivation and Mental Health

Lack of motivation is a common symptom of depression, anxiety, and burnout. If you’re struggling to feel motivated consistently, it’s worth considering your mental health.

Practices like mindfulness and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help reshape thought patterns that sap energy and clarity.

You don’t have to navigate this alone - working with a therapist can help you uncover the blocks to motivation and design a plan that fits your unique needs.

Resource: Learn how therapy can support your motivation and mental clarity.

Final Thoughts: One Small Step at a Time

Motivation is not a lightning bolt - it’s a rhythm. It’s momentum built through action, discipline, and grace.

You don’t have to wait to be motivated. You just have to begin.

✅ Start small
✅ Repeat with intention
✅ Align with your values
✅ Surround yourself with support

And when it’s hard, come back with compassion - not criticism.

You’re not lazy. You’re learning a new way to show up.